Every name matters...
- Ginger Bliss
- 3 days ago
- 6 min read
Updated: 2 days ago
Grief has taught me
To honor and acknowledge love
With supreme gratitude and urgency,
Whether that’s through new moments
Or long-cherished memories.
Grief has taught me
That love is our
Most valuable currency
May we invest in our chances
To share it, often and willingly.
Overflow it into the hearts
Of the people we love steadily.
Grief has taught me
That this life is marked
By love, by its ability
To make a home within
Even the most broken
Of hearts as it shines
Into the darkest
Seasons so vividly.
Grief has taught me
that when I’m ready
I have the opportunity
To carry loves and legacies
Within me
To honor the tension
Of love and loss courageously.
A keeper of stories
A guardian of memories,
A witness of
Love persisting, beautifully
And boldly.
~ Liz Newman
I am by no means an expert on grief or loss. I prefer to think that I am becoming quite knowledgeable about fear and love, though, and it seems these three are highly connected.
On September 21, 2024, I had a soft launch of my book, Brave Enough To Be Bliss, while at the BrainStorm Summit in Washington, D.C., where I spoke briefly to an audience of grieving parents and healthcare providers who treat DIPG and DMG, terminal pediatric brain cancers. It was an unexpected and unlikely situation that led me there and since then, I have been searching for something that came together for me today and has led me to believe the title of the blog, Fear, the enemy of love..., was perhaps the closest to perfect I have gotten to anything in my life. My brief message begins at the 1:53:25 mark in the BrainStorm Summit video linked below.
My friends, life isn't a guarantee. It is finite. It will end for all of us at some unknown point. For some, like these children with DIPG and DMG, it ends far too soon and with far too much pain and loss for them and for those who love them. And yet, I believe if I were to ask each and every parent at this year's BrainStorm Summit, there wouldn't be one who would wish their child hadn't been born. Despite the pain and grief and loss, they would still want to know the love that their child brought to them and the love that they were able to give to them.
The pain isn't the loss of love, it's the loss of the relationship. The love remains. The love endures. That's why it's important to celebrate the love and the reality of the relationship that existed, and yet it is why we are reminded every single day of what is missing as there is nowhere for all that love to go now that the physical relationship has ended. Just like pain, we can't store up love and not expect to become overwhelmed by it at some point. And that is why we need to continue to look for ways we can share our love, not even when we are grieving, but especially while we are grieving. When we are not sharing our love, it is much harder to receive love because fear is the enemy of love.
Courage doesn't arise within us because it comes naturally or because we want to invite the potential of further pain into our lives with reactions from those unprepared to hear our messages of pain. Courage to be real, raw and honest arises within us because of the pain that already exists and that pain leads us to want someone else to know they matter, to know they are not alone, to know their existence on this planet, in this time is worth standing up and sharing my story so they might be able to share theirs. Courage invites and oftentimes inspires or even compels others to be courageous with us.
If you read the blog, Fear, the enemy of love..., you'll recall I mentioned meeting and hugging a mom who had lost her daughter. While I never had the chance to meet Brooklyn Rose, pictured below, I have enjoyed learning about her through everything her parents have shared about her on Facebook over the past year. Her mom, Darline, and dad, Tony, have shared the real, raw and heartbreaking realities of losing Brooklyn. There was a time when I wouldn't have been able to read every entry as it would have scared me too much to know about their pain. It would have been too real a reminder of the fragility of life with my own daughter. I'm not proud to admit that, but I'm also not ashamed as I realize I am human and back when I would have felt that way, I simply wouldn't have been able to acknowledge their pain because I hadn't yet felt my own pain. But last year I had the courage to get up and walk around the table and ask Darline if I could hug her and this year, I am taking the time and making the effort to attend their memorial event in Saint Cloud, FL because I want to be a visible reminder that some random person they barely know who lives in Kansas City, MO cares so much that I want to be there to support them and their family and friends remembering this precious life lost to a disease that doesn't receive the attention or the funding it deserves. I believe it doesn't get either one because of the fear of a terminal illness affecting these little humans is just too real and raw for many people who haven't faced their own pain and fears.
I have invited you to walk into a glimpse of Brooklyn's parents' pain. If you were brave enough to imagine feeling with them in their pain, I would now invite you to take action. To be compelled to send a message to all these children and those who love them reminding them they are not alone and that people they do not know care enough to stop and listen and learn and perhaps even join them in their cause to end childhood cancer by making a donation, sharing an encouraging comment, or sharing this blog to help spread awareness.
If you would like to show them you care too, please consider registering to virtually join me in the 5K, make a donation, or respond to this blog with a message and I'll make sure they receive your words of care and kindness.
Like with all art forms, everyone can take away something different from the song in the link below based on their life experiences. To me, this is a song of healing.
I listen when I get a feeling I am supposed to do something even when I don't understand why. I learn from those who are much wiser than me and then I take action. I think, I consider, I learn, I self-reflect, I face pain, mine and others', and I stick with hard things until I find answers that make sense to me about how to live a life worth living in a way that brings more love into it than I initially experienced. I make it my mission each and every day to share all the love I have in my heart so that I never risk dying with love that hasn't been shared.
I used to hold people so tightly fearing that if the relationship ended, so would the love. And it felt like if I didn't have the love, I wouldn't survive it. And that's what gets me through grieving of any kind. I now know I don't have to lose the love, so I can survive the loss. The love will still be there even when the relationship isn't. And with healing, I am now willing to see, acknowledge and, most importantly, feel the pain which is why I can so easily share the love and also receive it.
#braveenoughtobebliss #gbreal #mentalhealth #healing #pain #selfcompassion #compassion #dipg #dmg #grief #lonely #love #fear #Tough 2 Gether #Brooklyn Rose Strong
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