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It's just a game...or is it?

Los Angeles Dodgers players celebrate near home plate after winning a game.

Dedicated to my dad, Wayne Miller, on Father's Day 2026. Thank you for your love and support through the years. I love you, Your Parakeet


One morning last week I awoke with the exact words I used in the title of this blog. I have a friend who told me about a potential topic for a book, so I initially thought these words must be for that book. Today, though, I decided the phrase fit with thoughts I want to share about men and sports.


Oftentimes wives will "joke" or share memes about the importance their husbands place on watching or playing sports. Honestly, though, I'm not sure they're very funny at all. While these women may not be aware of it, I think many men who watch or play sports are simply drawn to a place where they are safe to express and truly feel all their emotions. In our society, sports is one place where men can feel and express all of their emotions without fear they will be perceived as being weak.


Earlier today I watched the final hole of the U.S. Open won by Wyndham Clark. As Clark was leaving the 18th green, he was shown embracing his father who had surprised him by being in attendance having taken a red-eye flight from Denver to New York City for the final round. The two embraced several times and held each other tightly, fully experiencing all the emotions of the special moment. And my hope is that every father and son reading this did the same if they were able to be in each other's presence. Sports isn't necessary for men to show emotion, it simply makes it more comfortable.


Consider all of the emotions which can be expressed in just one baseball play.


Writing for Sports Illustrated after Game Six of the 2025 World Series, Tom Dierberger penned, "In all the chaos, Getty Images photographer Mark Blinch caught the perfect snapshot from the perspective of the outfield. In one frame, (Mookie) Betts is pictured flying through the air into the outstretched arms of (Kiké) Hernández, and infielder Miguel Rojas is in the dirt looking like he can’t believe what he just witnessed. Meanwhile, (Addison) Barger is on second base, realizing his baserunning mistake just cost the Blue Jays a chance to tie or walk-off winners in Game 6." Click here to see the photo.


Sports is a place where men can yell, scream, cuss, hug, cry, exclaim...where they can be anxious, frustrated, angry, happy, sad...and actually feel ALL of it, express ALL of it, release ALL of it. They are actually SAFE to be human when they are involved in or watching sports.


Elation without embarrassment.

Grief without judgement.

Pent-up frustration without hesitation.

Displays of affection without shame.


And don't we all want to feel safe? Don't we all need to express our emotions to be fully human? And when we don't, isn't it then that we turn to something to help us suppress or numb those emotions? And sometimes doesn't that habit lead to an addiction like alcohol, illegal drugs, nicotine, sex, food, exercise, work, porn? Please remember this the next time you want to judge someone who has an addiction of any kind.


“Persistence and resilience only come from having been given the chance to work through difficult problems.” Gever Tulley


I am very grateful to have the father I do and this Father's Day blog is in honor of him. As I was growing up, he and I spent a lot of time bonding through sports. Like many people, he didn't grow up in a family that easily shared their feelings. The link shares a blog and video about that specifically where he shares the story of learning how to hug his family members and tell them he loves them.


Early on in my memoir, Brave Enough To Be Bliss, I share that as I was growing up, our family didn't talk much about our feelings and definitely not about hard things, real things, uncomfortable things. Having now built a brand, GB Real, to represent everything in life that is real and raw and honest, I hope you can appreciate as much as I do how difficult it must have been for my dad when I started sharing my thoughts and feelings in these blogs four years ago and my entire life's story in my memoir. It couldn't have been easy for him to accept that the once quiet and quite buttoned-up little girl and adult woman he once knew was now sharing everything with the world.


While I was making final edits on the book, I texted him asking if he could read the references that pertained to him before it was published and let me know if he had any concerns, but he responded saying, "If you feel necessary, I can review. I have no concern about your honest words in your book. I promise to accept the truth of your words and feelings." I responded by telling him how much it meant to me to have his trust. And quite frankly, I had never been more proud of him than I was when I read those words. It may not be easy to have me for a daughter, but it's not easy being me either, so his support in that moment meant more to me than anything he had ever done for me.


On page 218 of my memoir, I share a story about an experience with my dad. I wanted to share that story in this blog because I think it's a good example of how important it is to have open and honest conversations with our children of any age.


"My dad sent me this text on January 3, 2020.

'I so appreciate my mom for first introducing this poem to me. Many times, it has given me inspiration and courage in my life. Last night I shared the poem with a young man at a local bar. Even though we’d never visited before last night, he told me of some recent disappointments and difficult times. I pulled the poem up on my phone and let him read. He seemed very relieved and encouraged. Thanks mom, and to all who share this poem, may it help others when times are tough.'



"While I knew he liked the poem, I hadn’t remembered that it came from his mom, so I appreciated the background. Certainly, this was important to him and it gave him inspiration and courage he passed along to his family. And I have appreciated the fact that I have a strong work ethic and don’t give up easily when there’s something I want to accomplish, but just like all things, there is a potential negative side to this if it’s not met with balance.


"As a child when he was trying to encourage me to not quit, what I heard was, “If you want me to be proud of you and love you, don’t you ever quit.” Those were not his words, but that is how I internalized his words.


"In my case, there were no limits to the extent I would go to in order to achieve a goal. A good example of taking this concept too far came about during the process of writing this book. This link will explain.



"While I didn’t understand it fully at the time, it was my way of being comfortable with my decision to reset my deadline in order to take good care of my health, or in my mind, to “quit” as I feared he might view my decision. I now prefer to face my fears instead of running away from them.


"By the time he arrived, I knew I was solid in my decision, and it didn’t even matter how he felt about it, so I didn’t specifically bring it up. But we did have, by far, the most open, honest, and vulnerable conversations we have ever had. He is 80 and I am 56. I wish we had figured this out years ago, so we could have had a closer and healthier relationship.


"There’s no blame in this example at all, but I share it to raise awareness that the words we say, especially to a child, can sometimes be misunderstood. With honest self-reflection and awareness, as well as a willingness to have open conversations no matter what may have been miscommunicated or misunderstood, repair is always possible when two people are willing to seek true understanding.


"During one of our conversations after he arrived, he began to rub his head and said, 'My brain hurts.' And we both laughed, understanding exactly what that meant, he needed a break. I’ve concluded that the sweet spot is somewhere in the middle, where his brain doesn’t hurt, and my heart doesn’t hurt."


“If you want to live a full life, you have to tell the truth. Anything that is held together by you playing small or silencing your voice is only secure when you are not you. So that means you feel ‘secure,’ but you don’t feel safe to be yourself. When we speak the truth our relationships are invited to either fracture or deepen. The container that holds our relationship will either break or expand. Either way, we are set free.” Mark Groves


I am so happy that my relationship with my dad has deepened through my experience of becoming Brave Enough To Be Bliss, in other words, of learning how to be myself and be happy. I was reminded of just how much he has learned and grown through the years when I was speaking with a client last week. When I first began talking with my client, he told me he didn't have feelings. He meant it and believed it. Of course he did have feelings, he just hadn't ever felt safe enough to reveal and express them. And I have no doubt, his ex-wife is one who could have made "jokes" about his dedication to watching sports not understanding what was behind it. He has also learned and grown a lot over the past year and when I asked him with Father's Day approaching if he thought he was a good dad, he demonstrated just how far he's come when he said, "I did the best I knew how to do."


That, my friends, is all we can ask of ourselves and each other. To do the best we know how to do at the time, and keep learning how to do better no matter what age we are.



If you struggle with relationships, let's talk. Schedule a free virtual or email appointment with me and share one thing about your relationship you'd like to improve, and I can share one thing you could do to help yourself move take one step forward toward a healthier relationship today. Schedule An Appointment Here



 
 
 

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