What if, in a field of dreams...
- Ginger Bliss
- 5 days ago
- 13 min read
Imagine with me for a moment...
What if America's favorite pastime1, baseball, is what could bring Americans together again? What if in all our technological advancements, we've only regressed as human beings and something as simple as baseball could help us see that.
(And please note I didn't say, agree with me completely. I said, "Imagine with me for a moment..." And when it comes to imagination, that requires we go to a place inside that's separate from our brains. A key function of the brain is to keep us safe, but sometimes safety is a skewed concept in our brains based on past pain. And we all have pain because life...is...hard, for all of us at one point or another. Imagination requires that we open those often-closed minds of ours to consider possibilities with an open mind and, even more importantly, with an open heart. We like to believe that our brains are the parts of us we can trust to be completely reliable and never lead us astray, but neuroscience has disproved that theory. And that's grayer than we want it to be. In this country, we like to see things as black or white, good or bad, right or wrong. It makes it easy. And as a society, we have grown to dislike anything that isn't easy. Gray feels troubling because it can require us to test the beliefs we have carried about ourselves and everything else, often without even questioning those beliefs all our lives. Most of our beliefs are established in childhood when our brains don't have the capacity to process understanding in ways that support us as adults. And while there are very good parents, there isn't one who is absolutely perfect so even trusting what they taught isn't always foolproof. So, please, step into gray and imagine with me for a moment...)
While some might think baseball is only a game, it has played a much greater role throughout American history. Just like life, America's favorite pastime and its players have experienced periods of injustice, difficulty and pain, and yet, just like life, baseball has offered opportunities for redemption, peace and joy. Mirroring the state of this country as sports often do, baseball was formed with only white men at the table and the plate, as in home plate, but as the United States integrated, so did baseball. Other than that, however, the sport as a whole has remained relatively unchanged throughout history although the individual players have vastly different upbringings, beliefs, languages, preferences, specific skills and talents, ideologies...in short, they each have their own life story. And yet, baseball and their acceptance of humanity is the commonality that brings them together as a team in order to reach their individual and collective goals.
It's likely that every Dodgers and Blue Jays player would attest to the fact that it was initially imagination that led them to ultimately be playing in the World Series. They imagined something that logic would have told them wasn't possible. It's estimated that more than 3 million children participate in youth baseball according to Baseball Biographies and yet, "Only about 0.5% of high school baseball players are drafted by MLB teams." But while you continue reading, please be like a child playing baseball and simply imagine in your hearts what is possible versus thinking about all the reasons it isn't. If children only listened to logic there would be no World Series, likewise, if adults don't imagine the state of our country can be different, it never will be.
The anticipation of Opening Day carries with it more than the hope of a great batting average and winning baseball season, it represents the end of a long, dark, cold winter and the promise of spring. The sights, the sounds, the smells of the ballpark spark dreams for the young and memories for the old in the same way that the flowers, birds, and fragrant air elicit the excitement of outdoor activities and joy in simply being alive. It is the time of year when hot dogs taste best. Oh, sure a backyard barbecue is good, but it does not compare to the foil wrapped steamy goodness of a ballpark hot dog. Even if the bun is a bit soggy. It is the time when people of all generations, strangers mostly, come together as a community, instead of tearing the community apart, to mindlessly watch a baseball game, perhaps paying attention, perhaps not.
The whole baseball experience is simply pleasant and pretty to look at. Green grass. Red clay dirt. Bright white uniforms, at least to start the game for most home teams. It satisfies all our senses really. Pretty sights, the sound of the crack of the bat when a ball is well hit, the smell and taste of the ballpark food, and the feel of the bleachers, the cotton candy, the high fives offered when your team scores. And when fathers feel free to openly put their arms around their kids because they remember their fathers doing the same thing there. And most of all, it's the feelings that arise as memories surface. No one is exempt from the feelings, and even the tears that can arise when grown men who have generally felt they have to hide their emotions believe they have permission to feel whatever they feel while at the ballpark.
June brings the summer solstice and rarely does the outcome of a baseball game matter. No team is ever really eliminated from contention by late June. And besides, there is usually a game the next day. It is not for wins or losses that we watch or listen; it is for hope, for optimism, for a reconnection with peace.
The annual All-Star break could be viewed similarly to mid-life, a time of reflection and gearing up for the second half trying to sustain what's working and improve on what's not. And the tank tops worn in the July heat that make the stadium bearable soon give way to sweaters as the crisp autumn air rolls in and the spring's hope for a post-season berth are either dashed or realized as post-season play gets underway in October.
This Instagram reel signifies what baseball represents to me and what has made it America's favorite pastime. Caring about others. Working together. Offering encouragement. Cheering each other on. Celebrating each other's victories as much as the team’s. Sharing each other's pure joy. Individuals unified all working toward a common good. Together.
Most of us have been socialized to do everything on our own, to not need anyone, to count only on ourselves. Why is that? I would assert it is fear, the avoidance of potential pain. I believe that somehow the inevitability of pain in life became something to fear versus something to expect and embrace understanding it isn't necessary to go through the pain alone. Life...is...hard. For everyone. Yet we refuse to accept that fact. We continue to believe that we have or can have control. We refuse to be honest with ourselves and our children that pain, agony, loss, grief can come to any of us at any time in any way. And that unwillingness to accept reality has led us to the state we are in today. And because we fear each other, we can no longer be on the same team as Americans, or even as basically as humans.
Baseball is a game of strategy, and yet it is so simple. Pitch, hit, run. But the strategy is…where do you throw with runners on base, do you take a pitch to allow a runner to steal, do you hit a high fly ball into the outfield in order for a runner to advance into scoring position? It is a game kids can play without much equipment. Back in the depression era of the 1930s, many Black players played sandlot baseball with a brown stick and rag ball, in the 1970s many young boys played in cul-de-sacs with mailboxes as first and third bases and a manhole as second base. Where there's a will to play baseball, there's a way and there's actually no need to make it as complicated as parents do today.
The actual game has not changed in over a century. Bases are still 90 feet apart. Mound is still 60 feet 6 inches. But oh, how our society has changed when it comes to youth sports which, to be healthy, really should be about learning and fun. TrueSport references a 2017 survey of more than 17,000 referees of youth sports which found that parents and coaches cause the majority of problems with sportsmanship. The website notes, "When asked 'Who causes the most problems with sportsmanship?' only about 10% of respondents cited players, but nearly 40% cited parents, and nearly 30% cited coaches."" If we all spent more time mastering control of our own behavior leading to healthy relationships in our own lives, instead of wasting time trying to control other people's behavior, which doesn't work by the way, we would naturally be developing healthier behaviors leading to a healthier society.
There are no perfect parents and that shouldn’t even be the goal. The goal should be to become the healthiest parents we can be. We are all hurt as children in some way since there are no perfect parents and that's not a criticism, but rather simply a fact of being human. It seems like when we become parents ourselves, we tend to either imitate the way our parents hurt us or do the exact opposite of everything our parents did. And because I made many mistakes, I’ve now learned the healthy place is generally in the middle versus either end of the spectrum on most everything.
When we step into our hearts and out of fear, that's when we can behave like those boys giving and receiving, experiencing pure joy. But most people today don't know how to be still long enough to listen to their inner knowing, so they are unable to trust themselves, their feelings, and instead simply survive by feeling numb. We have all been hurt in some way, so our brains develop coping mechanisms for the purpose of avoiding pain. We seclude ourselves instead of reaching out for help and end up creating misery for ourselves because we bought into the illusion of perfection as something attainable and expected by those around us in order to be loved.
In baseball, what might be considered failure in some parts of life is expected…averages tell us there is a higher likelihood of getting an out than a hit, and home runs are so exciting because in the whole scheme of baseball, they're rare. Even really successful players know they'll be fortunate to hit around .300 most of the time, meaning they'll get a hit in about three out of 10 times at bat. No baseball player has ever had a batting average of .500 even in a single season, not to mention in a career. This is far from perfection. They don't expect it. They work to be the best they can be understanding perfection isn't even a possibility and simply aim for doing the best they possibly can understanding even if they break records perfection isn't attainable so they don't expect it of themselves or their teammates.
And when they are at bat, their teammates can't help them. They can't depend on them except for moral support. They are the ones alone in the batter's box, all eyes on them. The only way they'll get on base is by hitting the ball, having four balls pass them for a walk, or getting hit by the ball. And if none of these things happen, they'll make their way back to the dugout having struck out. Perhaps that is why around baseball, there is a high likelihood of seeing compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness, love, and unity demonstrated on and around the field. They understand and accept they're going to fail more than they succeed, they accept the risk of a ball being hurled at them 90-100 miles per hour and the damage it can do, they understand and accept that while they are a part of a team, when they're at bat, they are on their own. And yet, they still dream of being the hero and hitting a homerun to win the game and they still dream of playing in a World Series. They know how to work on their own and are disciplined enough to take responsibility for doing so, and yet they also know how to work as well within the team.
In our lives as non-baseball players, just regular everyday humans living in America, many of us are searching for some secret garden, some imagined beauty we yearn for but have yet to experience in this life. Despite the experts, the research, and the resources that exist, we don't put in the work required to find it. We want it to be easy, but the reality is that life...is...hard. However, it doesn't have to be as hard as we make it for ourselves and each other. We lack self-compassion, so we are unable to show compassion for others. We walk around hiding behind masks of perfection and yet we are dying inside, too many quite literally, just dying to be seen as the hurt, scared, and imperfect humans we are. We desperately need someone to see our pain and not turn away from it but rather step into it with us, so we are not alone.
But too many of us have lost hope. We are too scared to imagine, to dream. And without dreams, we are doomed.
And yet, we don't have to sit idly by and accept this country or the world as it is today. Just like our society changed to get to this point, we can change it again, but this time with intention, with personal responsibility as individuals and yet together, as a team, cheering each other on to create a healthier, happier, more fulfilling place for all people to live.
When I think about what makes America unique, it's what it represents. The dreams, the hope, the freedom to believe anything is possible whether it is or not because it's through the process of dreaming that we can reach heights we wouldn't have otherwise.
“Confidence comes not from always being right, but from not fearing to be wrong.” Peter McIntyre
Together a baseball player and the team achieve common goals and that's what we could do as Americans if we all pulled together, faced our fears, learned new ways to become the mentally healthiest humans we can be, we could be role models to the world not of how to conquer but how to love. Not men against women or women against men, not white against black or black against white, not heterosexuals against LGBTQIA+ or LGBTQIA+ against heterosexuals, not Democrats against Republicans or Republicans against Democrats...but Americans WITH Americans, Americans FOR Americans, Americans BELIEVING in a million dreams for humanity.
It takes someone going first for others to feel safe, so I've stepped into the figurative lonely batter’s box with all eyes on me willing to strike out or hit a grand slam of hope with a plan and action. If a team surrounds me, rises up in my community, in my state, in my country who knows what we can show the world. A leader isn't infallible. A leader is human. A leader is simply willing to step up for the good of everyone on the team, inspire others to work together for the good of the team, and be strong enough to withstand the pressure when circumstances beyond their control threaten the team's achievement of its goals and ensure that the team's game plan, even if it has to be adjusted in real time, will ultimately prevail.
It's time for something new and different, perhaps taking the best lessons from America's favorite pastime and adding to it all the things we know now that we didn't when it started, taking the personal responsibility to become the best humans we can be, being brave in the land of the free so that we can once again be proud to be Americans. There is a field of dreams that lies ahead if only we will be simultaneously brave and vulnerable enough to show one another the grace we need to be able to find it within ourselves.
In the movie, Field of Dreams, Terence Mann, played perfectly by James Earl Jones, gave perhaps the best soliloquy about baseball, ever. It is so good, high school English teachers should have their students memorize and interpret it instead of Hamlet’s To Be or Not To Be. In the current state of our country, rewatching it reminds us of what we are missing.
"People will come, Ray. They'll come to Iowa for reasons they can't even fathom. Turn up the driveway not even sure why they are doing it, as innocent as children longing for the past. 'Of course, we don't mind if you look around,' you'll say, 'It's only $20 per person.' They'll pass over the money without even thinking about it for it is money they have, peace they're lacking.
"They'll walk out to the bleachers, sit in short sleeves on an perfect afternoon. They'll find they have reserved seats somewhere along one of the baselines where they sat when they were children and cheered their heroes. And they'll watch the game, and it will be as if they dipped themselves in magic waters. The memories will be so thick they'll have to brush them away from their faces.
"People will come, Ray.
"The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has ruled by like an army of steam rollers. It's been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game, it's a part of our past, Ray. It reminds us of all that once was good and could be again.
"People will come, Ray, people will most definitely come."
The movie ends with this scene...
And whether or not you believe there is a heaven, America could be a place where the ideals of a heaven on earth could be visible through the way we live our lives in community, supporting one another, caring for one another, lifting one another up, not tearing one another down fearful someone else will have more or different or easier than we have. If we were all working together, prepared to find compromise for the good of all, we could find ways where there don't have to be winners and losers, but rather where we all have a chance to realize our human potential.
We all have pain that leads us to behave in ways that do not represent who we could be, in other words, to live according to the ideals this country was built upon. So, the question to ask yourself is this, what are you going to do with the pain you've had in your life? Are you going to take the personal responsibility to control your own behavior and stop trying to control what other people think and do because that's only gotten us to where we are today and I think we can all agree, that's a very unhealthy and oftentimes hopeless feeling place to be. We don't need to make America great; we need to become healthy individuals who have the desire to create a healthy team of people working together for healthy solutions to complex issues for the greater good. And by becoming healthy mentally we will improve the collective physical, emotional, and financial health of our society while modeling to a world that's watching our next move.
#braveenoughtobebliss #gbreal #compassion #selfcompassion #usa #greatergood #brave #mentalhealth #dreams #pink #baseball #worldseries
If you're interested in reading my memoir, Brave Enough To Be Bliss, hardcover copies can be purchased at cost through the link below or a free digital book is also available. There is no financial gain for me in sharing this book, not because I don't think it has value, but rather because you are worthy of the investment of my time, energy, money and tears if you can become aware of even one thing you didn't already know that could help preserve or repair a relationship and lead you to a little more love, joy and life than you have today.
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