Loving people into healing...
- Ginger Bliss
- 32 minutes ago
- 5 min read
Have you ever wanted to feel truly seen. As you are. For whom you are. Without having to pretend or perform. Just be seen. And still be accepted and loved.
I work with clients who struggle seeing themselves compassionately as the imperfect humans they are. In other words, they have trouble honestly self-reflecting and seeing both their positive and challenging characteristics as well as the impact they have on their relationships. Because they tend to see only the imperfections that they ridicule themselves for and try to hide from others, it's difficult for them to feel seen, heard, accepted, or loved by anyone else. They often want to believe that someone or something else (career, money, recognition, etc.) will resolve their fears of being unlovable...but what they cannot yet see is already within them. When they can learn to self-reflect with compassion while putting in the work to understand how their brains work and consciously choose healthy behaviors, they will naturally move toward self-love and then feeling truly seen, heard, accepted and loved by others is much less complicated.
I understand this because I struggled for decades with these very issues. In my memoir, Brave Enough To Be Bliss, Section II is titled, "Being Ginger Lee" and I share the following.
After seeing the following video as I was finalizing the last chapter of the book, I was inspired to write these words.
"My name may still be Ginger Lee, but no longer will I live this life gingerly. I will not be offensive to God by playing small and silencing myself any longer. Instead, I am attempting to honor Him by having joy, sharing my dreams for the future, fully utilizing the talents bestowed upon me, listening to the nudges of the Holy Spirit, and writing this imperfectly human story of my life whether anyone chooses to read it or not."
Even with the vast resources I had encountered through my years of healing, I felt led to write a book that might help others who struggle with fear, control, self-hatred, perfectionism, self-doubt, self-reflection, anger, trust, honesty, feedback, and so much more. What the resources seemed to lack was someone I could truly relate to, someone who was similar to me in all my self-loathing. Someone who would say it that plainly, clearly, and directly. Someone who wasn't scared to share their pain, all of it not just the parts that seem acceptable or understandable. Someone who could show me how all the concepts I had read about from "experts" played out in a real life, within a real relationship or family. A real person who I could relate to. Just someone who wasn't trying to "get" anything from me so I could trust they really wanted to help me, not just sell me something, because I understand how important trust is for those of us who have been taken advantage of, used, and abused.
“If there is a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.” Toni Morrison
So, I wrote it. And I made the digital version free and hard copies available for only the cost I am charged by the printer. I have nothing against making a profit, but I was led to make this book free so that every reader could know that I care so much about them that I invested everything trying to help them see the reality about themselves, their relationships, and their lives. And that if their lives are not as they wish them to be, that help, hope and healing are all possible and within reach regardless of their ability to pay anything at all. All the good, bad, ugly and beautiful details of my life were poured out in the hopes that even one person's life could be inspired through this gift.
In a conversation with my long-time self-compassion coach, we were discussing my new career path, and I told her that I wasn't sure if I was on the right one. My coach went on to ask me what I did well and without hesitation I told her, "I love people into healing." And it reminded me that in the book's first chapter, I wrote the following words.
"I have attempted to share everything about me in this book so you can feel you know me. So, you can connect with my heart. So, you’ll trust me enough to keep reading even when it may get uncomfortable. I’m making every effort to touch your heart because that’s how I live my life. I may not know you personally, but I care for you because I care for humanity.
"I want you to see me as a friend, someone who cares about you and someone who challenges you to think because I want the best for you and your relationships. If this connection is made there’s a much better chance you will understand my words and see how even if you disagree with things I've done or things I write, you can practice having compassion for me because we have established a relationship of sorts. Then you can take that compassionate experience and apply it to yourself and others."
“The idea is to write it so that people hear it, and it slides through the brain and goes straight to the heart.” Maya Angelou
That is how I wrote the book, that is how I work with clients, and that is how I speak with audiences. I am GB Real. I care for you and your pain. And I believe in you and your ability to learn, grow and heal from whatever has hurt you.
"What stops us are the lies we believe that are not true about who we are. What stops us are the wounds that we have that are unhealed because they were never exposed, we buried them. What stops us are the games that we play to protect ourselves from the reality that might grow us." Karl Martin
If you are tired of fear holding you back, living in an unfulfilling or unhealthy relationship, feeling like your life has no real purpose, or in any other way are struggling to fully live the life you want, schedule a free virtual or email 30-minute consultation with me to get started making a move toward a healthier life with healthier relationships. Booking | GB Real
If you would like me to speak with your group about any topics covered in the book, including depression/suicide, sexual abuse/assault, spirituality, compassion/self-compassion, self-awareness and self-reflection, fear and control in relationships, the impact of unhealed pain on relationships, healthy parenting, or virtually any other real life issue, please contact me at gbliss@gbreal.life.