The view matters...
- Ginger Bliss
- Jul 25
- 4 min read
Updated: Jul 29
I was in a hurry as I pulled into a parking garage this afternoon, but when I came back out and got into my car I looked up and noticed this beautiful view of the Kansas City skyline. It was as if the garage framed it perfectly, pretty as a picture so I took one. I sent the photo to my daughter and a friend…and then I had these thoughts arise.
It would have been so easy to keep my head down intent on the next thing I was going to do, the next place I was driving to. And I wondered, how many times have I missed this view in the past and how even if I was one floor down or one floor above the perspective would have been totally different. The top of the next garage stairwell would have blocked part of the skyline if I had parked in this position one floor up and it would have entirely obstructed the skyline view one floor below.
Why am I telling you about a parking garage view? Because how a person views a person, place, situation, relationship, or oneself matters. A lot.
Yesterday on LinkedIn I posted an excerpt from my memoir, Brave Enough To Be Bliss. I wasn’t really sure at the time why I had the feeling I should do so, but today I figured it out.
It’s one thing to invest my life savings to write and self-publish a 458-page book detailing all of my deepest pain, biggest mistakes, and admit to how deeply I hurt people I loved…it’s another to promote it. To walk straight into the firing line of many people in this world who are much more interested in talking than listening, much more intent on fearfully finding fault in others than compassionately taking personal responsibility for their own thoughts and actions, much more insistent they are right so they feel justified judging others who must be wrong.
I share my own story so others who are presently living in pain know they are not alone. I stand up for all people in pain even those who have hurt me terribly. I don’t tell their parts of the story because no matter how I have been hurt, I understand they were hurt too or they wouldn’t have hurt me. It doesn’t make it right, it just makes it real. And the possibility for healing comes when we get really real, GB Real in fact.
So now I understand that I posted the controversial excerpt subconsciously knowing what I am about to venture into. I was testing myself to see if I could take the feedback and indeed, I can. Because I can feel the pain in the humans behind the comments. Something in the story I told brings up unhealed pain within them, so their release in that moment is through judging me.
My words and behavior are within my control and are a reflection of me. Everyone else’s words and behavior are within their control and are a reflection of them.
Trying to control everyone and everything else so I wouldn’t get hurt further left me alone and in pain. Facing my pain, my fears, and taking responsibility for myself and my past behaviors entirely changed my perspective giving me the chance to learn and grow into a human prepared for the firing line.
Earlier today I responded to a few comments on that post with the compassion and understanding I believe is needed within this world, but I deleted the post just now because the point of it wasn’t about anyone else. It was simply to prove to myself that I am completely comfortable and confident sharing my good, bad, and ugly story with the world because I know who I am and I know my heart for people, even those who may try to hurt me. I am an imperfect leader, an imperfect mother, an imperfect friend, an imperfect human. And I say those words more proudly than I ever said any single word about myself trying to pretend I was perfect.
Early in the year, I sent this song to a couple dear friends letting them know I had a feeling I might not be alive for as long as I would like to be after so many years wishing I was dead. I wanted them to remember and share that I finally did believe this life was worth all the pain endured because of love. All the love I had to give. All the hope I had tried to pack into those 458 pages.
I thought the feeling I had was about my physical life perhaps ending too soon, but what I believe now is that the Ginger Lee who was born 57 years ago and who lived those years moving most gingerly through it had to die once and for all so the Ginger Lee I was created to be before the pain could finally emerge.
At last, I have been able to feel as loved as I truly am. For years I had been sharing all the endless love I had in my heart emanating from my soul, but the walls of protection were simply too tall and thick and steel covered for anyone to break through. I always wanted to believe I would die for the love I was willing to give, but the truth is I had to learn to live for that love. That is what the 458 pages are for, to help inspire others to face their pain, to face themselves in their imperfection, to be courageous enough to find their own bliss.
There is freedom and grace in imperfection for myself and everyone who crosses my path because I now understand my lovability as a human was never hinging on perfection. And seeing my life from that view is even more beautiful than the Kansas City skyline I caught a glimpse of today.
If you're interested in reading Brave Enough To Be Bliss in its entirety, hardback copies can be purchased at cost through the link below or a free digital book is also available. There is no financial gain for me in sharing this book, not because I don't think it has value, but rather because you are worthy of the investment of my time, energy, money and tears if you can become aware of even one thing you didn't already know that could help preserve or repair a relationship and lead you to a little more love, joy and life than you have today.
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